Wrapping it Up

Today, May 20 2009 marks exactly 1 month before I leave Argentina and start long-term life again in the States. I have officially been here for a total of about 1 year 2 months. In this time, I have gone from loving Buenos Aires, despising Buenos Aires, to loving Buenos Aires, to having mixed feelings. I'm currently in the mixed feelings stage. I think I have the city figured out to the point that I make it work, but still don't want to be here long term.



What I mean when I say that I have the city figured out is that I've figured out how to adapt to life here and what the rules and tricks are to making everyday transactions. For instance, I've learned that every time you go to buy something in the grocery store or go to a bank or to pay a bill or to the post office, you ought to have some form of entertainment ready for waiting in a line that can be as long as 30 minutes.

I've figured out that if you don't want to be harrased by the security guards in stores, you need to take your backpack straight to a locker before entering a store.

I've learned that if I'm waiting in line at any type of store or for any type of service, I must wait until the person at the checkout finishes texting his or her friend or finishes the conversation they're having with their friend before they will even acknowledge my existence. I've learned that, 'The customer is always right' is not the mantra of the service industry here. The mantra is more...'When I'm good and ready, I will pay attention to you and not a moment sooner. We are equals and if anything, I am doing you more of a service than you're doing me. And, if there are any disagreements, you can get out of my store. Chau.'



I've also figured out that if you look at a homeless person or make eye contact, they will typically ask you for money or begin following you to ask for money and if you don't give them anything and you have a heart, you'll feel guilty about it the rest of the day. And if you completely ignore a homeless person, deny their existence, you've spent too long in the big city and need to get away.



I've learned that you can't expect people in the city to respond to you in a positive or happy way. If someone is kind to you or smiles or laughs with you in a good hearted way, you're lucky and are having a good day. If not, it's typical. If you come back from some type of vacation and are full of positive energy, the city will likely suck it out of you in about 2 or so weeks time.



I've learned that the Buenos Aires psyche can infect you. The Buenos Aires psyche is one of distrust, impatience, selfishness, and pessimism. If you are here too long, you start to see the world through jaundiced eyes. You overwhelmingly focus on the negative. You consider bad intentions and ulterior motives above all else in peoples' actions. You begin to think everyone is rotten. You think that people who are overly positive or trusting are naieve. You stop caring about your fellow man, the greater good. You shake your head at people who engage in charitable acts or who have devoted their lives to it. You're unhappy, maybe even depressed.



Along these lines I think I've begun to understand Buenos Aires a bit more than before. While I was infected with the Porteno psyche, I along with many other Portenos, believed that the city was out to get me. I was a ball of worry with radar for the viveca criollo in everyone.

I think, though, that the city really isn't as bad as people say it is in terms of people looking to take advantage of each other. I think it's more pandemic distrust than reality.



Granted, there are bad people here and the viveca criollo does exist-no doubt. But what there is more of is fear and Chronica, the 24 Hour Fox News of Buenos Aires that covers every car wreck and crime that's committed. The truth is, I think, that people are overly sensitive to the fact that everyone else is out to screw them. People are hypersensitive to it and so merchants have to overcompensate to show that they are not being dishonest. Portenos in my experience are much more likely to argue with people in the store about the price of something or when they feel that someone is pulling la piel de la vaca over their eyes. Concern about the Viveca Criollo here is similar to the alertness about possible terrorists that we saw in the U.S. after 911. All of a sudden, everyone began walking the straight and narrow because we were jumpy to the point that people began calling the FBI to report Arab looking Italians who were eating kebabs instead of pasta. I think something similar has happened in Buenos Aires. People are so sensitive to being taken advantage of that they begin to fear and distrust everyone. And I was caught up in this fear, cynicism, and distrust for months.



Which is not to say that I suddenly think Buenos Aires is a utopia. I've had items stolen from my luggage in the Buenos Aires airport. My best friend here was attacked and mugged on her way back from my place one night. The family of my former host mother has endured multiple robberies and hold ups among them.



That said, Buenos Aires is like many other big cities. Crime exists. Bad people exist. But it doesn't merit the fear and distrust that people here have....



I'm not sure I understand the origens of the Porteno mentality, whether it's a recent change that resulted from the crisis of 2001 or whether it's much older and dates back to the negative culture of Tango music lyrics. In any case, the mistrust I think in some ways is a self fulfilling prophecy. For instance, I don't know anyone here who trusts the government. For that reason, they couldn't care less about voting or the political process. They have resigned themselves to the idea that all politicians are crooked and that there is more or less nothing that they can do to improve the situation. As a result, politicians here more or less have free reign to get away with doing all the things that people accuse them of because it's expected and maybe even accepted behavior.

It's frustrating to listen to as well since Portenos are so knowledgeable and opinionated about politics and the country and yet, they have been unable to come together at the grass roots level to call for a change, to bring forth an alternative leader to the national forefront, to promote an environment in which an honest and decent politician might have enough support to cut through the corruption. Instead, they wait in isolated disenchantment for a hero politician to save the country and many place the blame for the country's woes soley on the government but place no responsibility on regular citizens for affecting change.

What would the US be today if it were not for grassroots activists crying foul at the Bush administration and supporting young progressive alternatives? Organizations like Moveon.org and Democracy for America that pooled together creativity, intelligence, people, resources, and money to reshape the country via grassroots. I was there and watched it happen, groups that started with 5 dorks in a room-including myself-that turned into standing room only auditoriums of revved up young people. Elections are stolen in my country and we still were able to build an organization from the ground up that eventually kicked the vast majority of bums out and replaced them with what appear to be decent and intelligent people.

I think mistrust and fear here also hobble the country economically. The distrust between people, banks, and other financial institutions disallows loans that generate business growth, increased standard of living, and increased home ownership. Money here simply doesn't move well, largely I think because of the fear and mistrust. The big money is stored up in the bricks of all the real estate in Capital, where all the smart wealth hides it to collect 5 or so % a year. The Argentine stock market is used by few inside the country and at the least sign of instability, money is removed and stocks get crushed. It is only good for short term trades.

Granted, there is good reason for people to be wary of financial institutions. Bad governance and corrupt worldwide banks stole everyone's money here in 2001. But, as much as I hate to say it, unless the two sides mend the relationship, Argentina will never grow economically in the way that its neighbors Chile and Brazil are.

Fear and mistrust also wreaks havoc on every day life at the street level in Argentina. General lack of trust and fear of each other has lead I think to an every man for himself mentality. Rich or poor, young or old, male or female, people here tend not to take care of the city. They litter outright when garbage cans are all over the place, even two steps away. They let their dogs poop all over the streets and don't think twice about leaving it for someone else to clean up. They drive like maniacs, ignore general traffic laws, run down pedestrians who are walking in cross walks even when the pedestrians have a green go signal. They cut people off in the streets whether it be walking or driving, without acknowledging or apologizing to the person they mistreated. They don't greet each other unless they know each other well.

In short, I think mistrust and fear of others has kept people from coming together as a community to support causes that promote general wellfare: clean streets, sidewalks, kindness, looking out for your neighbor, treating each other as human beings instead of cattle, recognizing that they're all in this together and that bad people are the minority and that the city would be much better if people came together to take care of it and each other.

Fear and mistrust also I think infect personal relationships here. This is the problem I find most unfortunate. I have found my friends in Argentina to be very loyal, kind, giving, and concerned. Frankly, I think friendship means more to Argentines than it does to people in the United States. In Argentina, it's not ok if you go a few weeks without talking to a good friend. In the US, it's common to go months without talking to a good friend. No big deal. We've just come to accept it. In Argentina, friendship means true committment, caring, loyalty. If you are not communicating with your friend, it is reason for concern. I think it's great.

And my friends here often contact me when they are concerned that things between us aren't going well or if we haven't spent much time together. I don't find it overbearing at all. I find it endearing and heart warming. It's one of the best facets of Argentine culture.

My point in saying this is that I have recently realized that I allowed my Porteno mentality to infect my friendships. Over the summer, I began to mistrust the intentions of some of my friends in BA. I distanced myself from them. And now after reflection and figuring things out, I realize I was wrong. My friends here are great. They really care. Sure, maybe their intentions in being friends with me weren't 100% pure, but whose intentions ever are? I shouldn't have ever questioned them and I hope they don't lose trust in me. Because if nothing else, there ought to be trust among and belief in good friends. It's a start....